Mary Claire is having some trouble in math, mainly with double-digit subtraction with borrowing. It hasn't been formally taught at school yet, but I've been working with her. I talked with her teacher (Clay's teacher for second grade also), and she said she'd teach it earlier this year (after Christmas), and it still feels like it isn't soon enough. It's such a basic life skill that needs daily repetition to master. I worry about her. She's so smart (take yesterday's internet experience), but doesn't really WaNt to apply herself. How to motivate her...yes, Ches wants to reward goodness with internet time! Let's see how that one goes.
Almost done with the loss (not a better word to use here, I really tried to think of another). I am becoming more obsessed (at least I'm aware of it?) with getting pregnant. I have looked up all different causes of early pregnancy loss, and ways for me to be healthier. I'm pretty healthy, but there are more things I can do. I'm trying to cut caffeine (as is Ches), which may prove to be my biggest hurdle. I don't just like it; I love it. Coke, coffee, chocolate, my love. So, I'm a little moody today, and it's causing headaches (probably withdrawal). When it gets so bad I can't see, I have about a third of a can of Coke (maybe 20 grams of caffeine?), and it doesn't help. It just helps in my mind. : ) I've read that two cups of coffee a day can double the chances of miscarriage-not what I need. I can be an extremist, and don't really want to be, but there are small, simple things I can change.
I don't even know how I got to this point. A year ago, I was just sure (I think I was) I was done having kids. I had a conversation with my doctor at my last yearly appointment about any last kids (The Talk since I was Getting Older). I guess after you realize it's the end, and you do a lot of prayer time about children, you soften. Then, I was so surprised at myself at how excited I was to be pregnant last summer. You don't really know how you'll feel till you see a positive pregnancy test! I just cried. Then, losing that one, I was so disappointed. Now it feels like a quest. And, sadly, I just live for a challenge. Don't ever dare me to do something or say it can't be done. Just competition in my genes, a way of life.
It's already hard on a lot of days to have three kids. It's not three times the work of one, which some of my friends ask about. It's just more. You don't take into account the effect that each one has on the others, both good and bad. They are built-in playmates, adore each other, can't wait to see one another in the morning, help the youngest go to the bathroom or read to them, and they still get on the others' nerves, pinch each other, don't want to take turns, and want to know why the other one isn't helping unload the dishwasher! It's just More.
I've always said that I have a lot of faith, and I do. I don't think this is quite it, and I still think God has an amazing plan. He always surprises me. There must be something in the works, even as I ponder what it could be.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
1 comment:
The kids were good. They are always good:)
Last week, the three days they were here, they were good as well.
I think we are all on the same intelligence level. ha!
Take care of yourself honey, you're the only Ma-Mopp they have.
Love and hugs..
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